🎈 Goodbye Toxic Social Norms

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You know how sometimes we do things just because everyone else is? Like, we follow the crowd without even asking why. I’ve been there, and let me tell you, it’s not always the best path for us or the people we care about.

Social pressure is intense—it’s like this invisible force pushing us to fit in. But here’s the thing: we can totally flip that script and use it to live more authentically and build relationships that actually light us up.

Why Social Pressure Hits So Hard

Social pressure is no joke—it’s probably the strongest pull we feel as humans. It can sneak up on us, making us act in ways that don’t even feel like us. If we’re not careful, it can lead us to dim our spark or hang with people who bring us down. But we can also use it for good—think accountability buddies, group promises, or shouting your goals to the world. It’s about choosing whether we’re sleepwalking through life or wide awake, surrounded by people who get us and make us feel alive.

I want you to own your social world. Pick your crew, your habits, your vibe. Here’s a rundown of some social norms I’ve kicked to the curb while figuring out how to build relationships that truly matter to me.

Norms I’ve Ditched (And You Can Too)

These are the social “rules” I’ve said “no thanks” to, backed by some solid research and a sprinkle of my own experience. Plus, I’ve got tips for how you can break free from them too.

1. Play Is Just for Fun Time

What People Say: Play is for kids or weekends, not serious stuff like work.

My Take: Nope! Play is like a superpower for your brain. Science says it boosts creativity, empathy, and even keeps your mind sharp. I love sneaking play into my day—especially at work. It’s a game-changer.

How I Break It: Find the fun folks in your life and join their silly antics. Try tossing a goofy idea into a meeting or starting a quick game with your team.

2. Strangers Are Weirdos

What People Say: Talking to random people is awkward or risky.

My Take: Actually, chatting with strangers is like a mood booster shot. Research shows it lifts your spirits, sharpens your social skills, and can even open career doors. For me, it’s a personal growth hack I can’t get enough of. Plus, the whole “strangers are dangerous” vibe? Crime stats say otherwise.

How I Break It: Start small—flash a smile or say hi to someone in an elevator. Make it a daily thing, and watch how easy it gets.

3. Phones Are Fine at the Table

What People Say: It’s no big deal to check your phone while hanging out.

My Take: Big nope. Studies link phone use to stress, loneliness, and even depression. Even just having your phone nearby messes with your focus and kills the connection vibe. I want to be present when I’m with people—it’s where the magic happens.

How I Break It: Stash your phone somewhere safe or turn it off during hangouts. Trust me, you won’t miss it.

4. Happiness = Success and Stuff

What People Say: You need money, status, or a fancy job to be happy.

My Take: That’s a trap. Johann Hari’s book Lost Connections calls these “junk values” that actually make us feel worse. Real happiness comes from relationships, health, and growing as a person. Oh, and Shawn Achor’s research? It says being happy leads to success, not the other way around.

How I Break It: I journal about what really matters to me. It keeps me grounded and focused on what fills my soul.

5. Booze and Drugs Are Party Must-Haves

What People Say: You can’t have fun without a drink or something stronger.

My Take: Hard pass. That stuff messes with your sleep and health, and honestly, you don’t need it to feel amazing. I’ve learned to tap into my own joy—it’s already in there! Getting high off good vibes with friends is way more fun. I teach people how to do this, and it’s the best.

How I Break It: Hang with sober folks who know how to party without substances. I love sober ravers—they’ve got this down.

6. Winning Means Beating Everyone Else

What People Say: Life’s a competition, and you’ve gotta come out on top.

My Take: That mindset just burns bridges. In my book, real winners lift others up. The most respected people I know are the ones helping everyone around them shine. Cooperation over competition, always.

How I Break It: I try to be a “go-giver”—someone who’s all about helping others succeed. It feels so much better.