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🎈 (Diary) Ask Yourself These Questions, Transform Your Connections

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🎈 (Diary) Ask Yourself These Questions, Transform Your Connections


I hosted a Hike Rave, led a corporate party crash, went on a surf trip, and had a meeting with a really important person. Lots of lessons. Listen.

Listen to learn…

  1. Three questions to transform your approach to socialization.

  2. How to build rapport quickly & smoothly.

  3. The damaging effects of rushing to a destination.

  4. How 5 Germans in an RV inspired me.

  5. The importance of framing a workshop or activity.

The Illness of Independence

For 27 years, independence has been my priority, and freedom my highest value. I avoided deep relationships because they felt constraining, laden with responsibilities, and compromising. My mantra was simply, "Do me."

Things have changed.

Now, I'm contemplating: would life be more fulfilling if I sacrificed my independence for relationships that truly nourish me?

Over the years, my values have shifted, you see. While I once prioritized freedom, peak experiences, and adventure, I now cherish community and relationships, being present for my loved ones instead of being adventurous.

I’ve had a revelation… There's a shadow to independence. It separates us from others. It discourages vulnerability and the exchange of support. Too much independence can lead to isolation.

For 27 years, I've lived independently, knowing what I enjoy, how I want to spend my time, what I like and don’t like. But today, I'm realizing that perhaps life would be better with a little compromise, rather than being alone.

Relationships complicate things. Suddenly, responsibilities extend beyond oneself. It's no longer just about you; you have to care for your relationships and sometimes make compromises.

While this might initially seem negative, it's possible to find joy in this process and view it as essential for healthy relationships. Because it is.

Can you truly be in any real relationship without sacrifices, compromises, and responsibilities? A deep, committed relationship demands sacrifices and compromises. And it may ultimately be worth it.

Centenarians, those who live to 100+, remind us of the immense joy in contributing to our community and helping those we love, even when it inconveniences us. They teach us that compromise and responsibility signal healthy interdependence.

Before smartphones and computers, we relied more on each other. Human-to-human interaction has been replaced by technology, altering our sense of community and neighborliness. While we can be entirely independent, do we truly not need other people anymore?

Is independence ingrained in our DNA, or are we naturally inclined towards interdependence? Perhaps it's healthy and normal to need others, giving purpose to our lives through mutual assistance and compromise—the foundation of healthy communities and relationships.

Here I stand faced with the question: How much do I sacrifice?


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The Party Scientist's Lab
The Party Scientist's Personal Podcast (Private)
Tools for building community and leading group experiences, with an emphasis on human connection.