🧪Party Science Experiment #20

  
0:00
-11:59

You’re one of 901 human connection professionals🥼who read or listen to this newsletter.

Whether you’re here to grow your business, master facilitating belonging, or elevate your mindset & vitality—what unites us is the belief that human connection is the elixir of life 🧪

As a token of appreciation for the care I put into this, can you forward this to one facilitator, community-builder, or human connection professional?

At last, let’s dance 💕🙌


WISDOM FROM MY ALLIES

Make decisions based on trust, not money.

—Virginia Salas Kastilio, CEO of Humans I Trust, emphasizing the long-term approach and relationship-building


INSIDER INVITATION

My dear friends at Authentic Revolution are offering us a special code for the Authentic Life Course!—Level up your human connection skills and watch your well-being skyrocket.

Code: VYVEFAM.

One thing I believe deeply—the more time we spend in authentic connection with others, the happier we are. Check out the syllabus.


ELEVATE YOUR FACILITATION

Feel the room.

Are your guests in a state where they can fully participate in the proposed activity? Are they familiar enough with one another? When we feel the room, we can determine what our guests can handle and receive.

ELEVATE YOUR ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Tell stories about your community members.

If you’re doing things right, for one thing, you have community members, not customers. When you give credit and show off your community members, it makes them feel good, and it improves trust in your product.

See below: The Circle of Awesomeness.

ELEVATE YOUR PERFORMANCE

Stop snacking.

Snacking is not good for your dental and metabolic health. Snacking prevents you from accessing ketosis. Shared, long sit-down meals with friends are much better for our well-being.


STORIES, INSIGHTS, AND FAILS

LIFE LESSON: Approach conflict collaboratively.

I had a conflict with my mentor, BFF, and playmate recently. We have been traveling together and crushing it wherever we go. At universal studios, we even started a dance party in the hotel lobby.

I absolutely admire her communication skills.

Recently, we had a little co-fuffle together. I stated an observation after a long day that she had disrupted an interaction I had been having. After sharing my feelings, I felt like there was a lot of resistance in understanding where I was coming from. I kept hearing AND feeling—‘I disagree and do not want to try to understand you.’

I learnt that this impression was my own creation.

After resolving and reflecting on the conversation, I realized that I had approached it one-sidedly. Instead of making it a collaborative discussion about human connection, I had made it about her behaviour. It was unsolicited feedback. It was insulting to her.

I learnt that I had no expressed curiosity toward her views and feelings. I was in lecture-mode, instead of question-mode.

To approach conflict collaboratively, ask questions about the other person’s experience, intentions, and reflections. And… go slow. Choose your words carefully.

BUSINESS LESSON: The people are the product.

Especially as a community-builder, this lesson has really transformed how I operate my business. The reality is, a community or event experience is influenced by who is there. If who is there do not practice solid human connection skills. If who is there do not align with the purpose you have laid out. If who is there is there to spectate instead of contribute.

If this is the case…then the product will become less valuable to the people who are there for the right reasons, who are there fully, who are there to connect and contribute. All this to say, be careful who you select to be in your community. It only takes one socially incompetent person to wreck the vibe for everyone.

This principle also applies from a branding perspective. Are the people participating in your community the people that you want potential customers to visualize when they think about your product? The people associated with your product determine the brand of your product. So do not let your community be infiltrated by the wrong people.

For the health and brand of your community, it’s important to set up boundaries. Do not make it for everyone.


I BELIEVE IN—Lyle

Lyle and I have been meeting online since 2019. He is a techno-optimist and believes in the use of technology for advancing education and mental health. His company, Andromeda, designs VR and AR games. Join his newsletter.


I WROTE—

ADOPT THE MENTALITY

I RESEARCHED—

How to be Happy Study. Research Article.

Tarzan Kay, email marketing guru. Newsletter.

Katya, Founder of the Inheritance Project. About.

Nicole Gibson, CEO of LoveOutLoud. Movement.

WHO I FOLLOW

I DARE YOU—

Pause somewhere and stretch. Ideally in public.


PS: JOIN MY INSIDER LIST for $1/week when you’re ready for deeper insights and personal invitations 🙏


Remind fellow human connection professionals you care about their success and well-being.

Be thoughtful—Forward this to them.

Don’t forget, your body and belonging matters too, be-you-tiful.

—Jacques W. Martiquet, The International Party Scientist

🧪Party Science Experiment #19

  
0:00
-13:36

You’re one of 831 human connection professionals🥼who read or listen to this newsletter.

Whether you’re here to grow your business, master facilitating belonging, or elevate your mindset & vitality—what unites us is the belief that human connection is the elixir of life 🧪

As a token of appreciation for the care I put into this, can you forward this to one facilitator, community-builder, or human connection professional?

At last, let’s dance 💕🙌


WISDOM

Self-expression is a prerequisite for intimacy.

—A principle that surfaced during Edric’s introduction in our session


INSIDER INVITATIONS

Optimization of Product-Market Fit for Organic Growth—Workshop

Built for human connection entrepreneurs. Reply to this for an invitation. This is a part of the weekly VYVE entrepreneurial mastery series.

Become a transformational healer—Breathwork Facilitator Training

Vivan, the Co-Founder of Frequency, has offered all of us 50% off their facilitator training. They also have a 14 day trial for their online breathwork classes. Email Victoria Brown with the code FREQUENCYFAM to learn more about the training—imvictoriabrown@gmail.com


ELEVATE YOUR SELF

FACILITATION

Use the element of surprise.

If you inform your guests about everything that is going to happen, you lose the element of surprise. So sometimes, don’t ask permission. Do it. Wow them with an irresistible invitation.

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Change your market or change your product to get organic growth.

The phenomenon of organic growth happens when customers love your product so much that they start referring their friends. To get to this place, there needs to be an alignment between the customer and the product.

WELL-BEING

Buy eye-shades.

If the sun is waking you up, do yourself a favour and invest in good eye shades. I purchased some for my trip, and they have been invaluable. So much of sleep-hacking is just having a dark and quiet place to rest!


STORIES, INSIGHTS, AND FAILS

LIFE LESSON: The company is what matters.

I have been in Orlando for the last four days. I have hosted three rituals, a dance party, and one excursion. I assembled a crew in Miami to drive up to Orlando with me from Miami. The three strangers I invited were CryptoGal and the Cybercode twins. On the car ride up, we shared stories of personal transformation. It was powerful. There was silence.

In the evening after the ‘car ride of vulnerability’, I assembled a crew and we went on a massive chair-swing called the Starflyer. We hosted a dance party in the lineup and got a random guy to dance for everyone while standing on top of the SOUNDBOKS. Two powerful women joined the excursion last-minute and showed me that I can become even more vibrant and playful.

A few days later, I went to Volcano Bay waterpark with CryptoGal and we did the scariest ride together, called the Body Drop. I gave her a pep talk before she stepped into the chamber. Underneath her feet was a trap door into a vertical water slide tube. One second later, the lifeguard flipped the switch and she was gone.

Throughout my excursions, the same realization comes to the surface—my quality of life is determined by the quality of company in my life. If I hadn’t met so many epic humans, if I had not assembled crews of people to travel and play with, if I had chosen to stay in my own hotel room and do my own thing, my trip would have been way less fun and memorable.

The company is what matters. So bring good people along with you. It will make the memories more unforgettable.

BUSINESS LESSON: Fire the free-loaders.

The theme of the 21st century is noise. Noise in our personal relationships, noise in the media we consume, and noise in our priorities. I define noise as the non-essential — the ‘trivial many’ that don’t really contribute much to our well-being or success. Noise distracts us from what matters. It consumes our attention when there are better things to invest our efforts in.

Noise also applies to our customers. So many customers represent noise. They complain. They want free things. They are high-maintenance. And they don’t generate much revenue. They’re not loyal and they’re probably not a good fit for the product we offer.

Fire these customers and focus on serving the ones who are loyal, promising, and a great fit for your offering.

How do we remove the noise from our customer base? First, we must change how we attract customers. Instead of luring them in with free stuff, vet them. Don’t just work with anyone.

Make them work to work for you.

When you don’t work with everyone, it shifts the interpersonal dynamic—people will want to fight to work with you. They will try to qualify themselves to work with you. I call this ‘putting others into prequalification mode.’ This is when your customer is trying to prove they’re worthy of joining your community.

But before we can remove the noise, we need customers. You’ll need a kickass product that generates organic referrals. Once your product has a high net promoter score, you can be pickier with who you choose. That is, you can raise your price; you can start to control the negotiation because you are not desperate for customers.


I BELIEVE IN—Tontschy

Psychological pattern identifier, upgrader, and coach, Tontschy Gerig. She just joined her first VYVE session. Knowing no one in the room, she embraced dance and vulnerability. I cannot wait to get to know her more! Blessed to have you a part of the new cohort if you see this, Tontschy!

I WROTE—My Life Principles

READ MY LIFE PRINCIPLES

I RESEARCHED—

Myriam Hadnes, CEO of Workshops.work and Podcaster

Dawna Jones, Change Management Consultant and Emergence Facilitator

Haley Findlay, Community-Builder, Gamer Designer, and Futurist

Ez Bridgman, Versatile Workshop Designer and Improviser

WHO I FOLLOW


I DARE YOU—

The next cashier, janitor, or attendant you meet, make their day. Give them life.


Remind fellow human connection professionals you care about their success and well-being.

Be thoughtful—Forward this to them.

Don’t forget, your body and belonging matters too, be-you-tiful.

—Jacques W. Martiquet, The International Party Scientist

PS: JOIN MY INSIDER LIST for $1/week when you’re ready for deeper insights and personal invitations 🙏

🧪Party Science Experiment #18

  
0:00
-10:05

You’re one of 831 human connection professionals🥼who read or listen to this newsletter.

Whether you’re here to grow your business, master facilitating belonging, or elevate your mindset & vitality—what unites us is the belief that human connection is the elixir of life 🧪

As a token of appreciation for the care I put into this, can you forward this to one facilitator, community-builder, or human connection professional?

At last, let’s dance 💕🙌


WISDOM BOMB

Create a platform for others to shine.

—In conversation with Jojo Lee, Community Architect and Consultant


INSIDER INVITATIONS

Create An Impossible Vision and Make It Possible—Workshop.

My friend, mentor, and believer, Kimberly Wiefling, is leading a workshop about breaking through limiting beliefs as an entrepreneur. You will learn to adopt the ‘impossibility mindset’ which is expansive, creative, and fun. I have personally attended her sessions and recommend them to all.


ELEVATE YOUR SELF

FACILITATION

Match energy.

Matching energy is all about adjusting your vibe to the vibe of your guests. Once you meet them where they are at, that’s when they become receptive. You can then start taking them where you want to take them!

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Do experiments with your product.

This week, we had a session about product development. Facilitator trainer Jan Keck attended and brought up an excellent point about experimenting with the product, checking the results, and moving forward.

WELL-BEING

Eat on a cycle.

This trains your body to digest food at certain times during its circadian rhythm. If I am hungry, and it’s 4am, I just don’t eat.


STORIES, INSIGHTS, AND FAILS

LESSONS FROM MY LIFE

Bad shit happens. Surrender to this reality.

So. This week, I travelled to Miami. Hence, why this newsletter is one day late. During my journey, my flight was delayed twice. But it’s worse. After a 6 hour layover in LA, I arrived at my gate frazzled and… they would not let me board.

Worse… the American Airlines supervisor looked at the attendant who was trying to fix my wrongly-issued ticket and told him—'Leave him behind then.’

When I heard those words my heart sunk. But then I remembered what I have been learning all my life—to expect that things won’t go as planned.

Bad shit happens.

Surrender.

Rebound.

And that’s what I did. I sat down patiently. Called some friends, and waited until they could explain what had happened. My thoughts that the US government was after the Party Scientist were restrained.

Two hours later, I got on the next flight to Miami. A red-eye. Check out my IG Story Highlight for the full experience.

LESSONS FROM MY BUSINESS

Tell them why. Again.

I led a special guest session for VYVE this week. I invited about 70 other human connection professionals. I think 10 of them showed up. My lesson from this experience was that I must communicate more clearly why the session is worth someone’s time. And I must repeat that many times.

You see, the world is becoming more and more distracted and fast-paced. People forget information they consumed 10 minutes ago. So the game of communication is now shifting to the game of following up. And the game of breaking through the noise.

How will you adjust your communications with customers to the exponential increase of notifications and distractions?

LESSONS FROM MY NETWORK

Be a purposeful networker—ask for their why.

Gosh, I have likely met 40 people in the last 2 days. It’s been overwhelming and fun. One way I have found useful to fish out the social entrepreneurs from the hyper-capitalist ‘I just like getting rich’ types, is by asking one question.

What’s the mission behind your work? And why does this matter to you?

It has helped me have meaningful conversations with complete strangers. The latter question also invites story-telling, which is about the human experience! Not an intellectual meandering. I want to focus on human connection during my networking encounters, not on transactions and business talk. I want to feel and witness emotion. So I ask questions that transcend the typical—what’s your project?


I BELIEVE IN—David Garrison

A celebration specialist, team-builder, and experienced facilitator. David and I had our first call and there was a soul-connection. David has worked in authentic-relating and transformational men’s work.

I WROTE—Adventures in Effectiveness & Optimization

READ THE ARTICLE

I CREATED—An IG Story

FOLLOW MY EXPEDITION

I RESEARCHED—

Anna McAfee, Community Consultant and Linkedin Power User

Solomon Krueger, Founder of Authentic Relating Go

Jon Cotton, the Circling Institute, 7 Stages of Circling.

Peter Diamandis’ book, The Future is Faster Than You Think.

Kaheal Head, Conscious Festival Curator


I DARE YOU—

Go for a walk with a friend and ask them about their dreams.


Remind fellow human connection professionals you care about their success and well-being.

Be thoughtful—Forward this to them.

Don’t forget, your body and belonging matters too, be-you-tiful.

—Jacques W. Martiquet, The International Party Scientist

PS: JOIN MY INSIDER LIST for $1/week when you’re ready for deeper insights and personal invitations 🙏

💥Party Science Experiment #17

  
0:00
-11:11

You’re one of 751 human connection professionals🥼who read or listen to this newsletter.

Whether you’re here to grow your business, master facilitating belonging, or elevate your mindset & vitality—what unites us is the belief that human connection is the elixir of life 🧪

As a token of appreciation for the care I put into this, can you forward this to one facilitator, community-builder, or human connection professional?

At last, let’s dance 💕🙌


WISDOM BOMB

When you pick up the trash of your guests, you make your role as a facilitator known. You are here to serve them.

— From a conversation with Mark Busse, International Facilitator and Host


INSIDER INVITATIONS

Human Connection Entrepreneurship Mastermind

This is happening on June 3rd, 9AM PST. You will be paired with two other human connection professionals, and have the opportunity to support one another. Reply to this for an invitation.

Warmspace.io Alpha Invitation

I tried this. It blew my mind. I encourage every human connection professional to check out their human connection experience. I am inspired.


ELEVATE YOUR SELF

FACILITATION

Cultivate trust beforehand.

A good ingredient of priming is the cultivation of trust. Priming is what we do before our experiences. Cultivating trust is what we do to be liked, known, and trusted by our participants. I love sending videos to do this.

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Team up.

The entrepreneurial journey is not a solo journey if you are doing it right. Good entrepreneurs partner with synergistic businesses and create win-wins. This is what I realized while studying Adam Grant’s Big Ideas Club.

WELL-BEING

Check your digestion.

I know, not what you would expect in a newsletter about human connection. But no joke, the quality of your stool says so much about your gut health. And guess what—your gut health is related to your mood and stress. The healthier your gut, the more prosocial you’ll be.


LIFE AND BIZ STORIES

LIFE LESSONS

Asking people for advice makes them feel good.

Over the weekend, I hosted a bike ride with my PEAK-XP community. Liven led a pep talk at the beginning about authentic expression. Michael led a ‘jumping like a fish’ warm up. And Magika taught us how to shake our booty.

Following me on my scooter, we swerved through parkades, streets, and underground tunnels. The highlight is always the reaction of the public. They, they just start dancing and cheering. The public space comes alive. People start to express themselves.

As we traveled down the previous nightlife district of Vancouver, the 5-0 pulled up on their own bikes and told me to shut it down. “Is that insured?” they asked. “No.” I said. Then, they told me to walk my scooter as well.

I could have been ticketed threefold: for riding an electric scooter, for playing music at 1030PM, and for leading a bike ride with more than 10 people…

They did not ticket me. Instead, they lectured me about liability, risk, and laws. It was a wonderful interaction and I learnt a lot. I invited the officer to lecture me. I remember explicitly asking: “Please offer me some advice.”

Their response: “This is a great idea, and you’re smart. You can do this right and be an entrepreneur.”

…Already have.

BUSINESS LESSONS

Keep others out.

Lately, I have been reading a seminal book on cooperation by Robert Axelrod. The book explores the prisoner’s dilemma and how to cultivate cooperation among agents with no central authority. One of the keys to promote cooperation is to increase the weight of future interactions. That is, cooperation is more likely to develop with ongoing relationships.

Side note: Maybe this is why the city is a gloomier place. People don’t interact with each other as often, and so they’re more incentivized to defect/cheat one another. The dangers of anonymity, much.

This can be done by increasing the regularity and likelihood of future interactions. In the book, they give the example of suppliers for a business. If you work with a smaller number of suppliers, you will interact with them more regularly. If you work with a larger number, your interactions will be less frequent.

Keeping others out is about concentrating your partnerships with a select few people. Maximizing the number of interactions you have with them so that trust and a norm of reciprocity can develop. This will prevent your collaborators from defecting when you are cooperating.

When we focus on quantity of partnerships/relationships instead of quality, we increase the chance of defection. We reduce the chance for mutual cooperation to develop. If you’re always working with new suppliers/agents/businesses, research says you’re more likely to get cheated.


HUMAN I’M CHEERING FOR

Teresa, the Business Leader/Executive Coach! Currently, Teresa coaches leaders and executives in companies such as Netflix, FB, and Amazon. I just got off the phone with her as I write this I, and I am more inspired than ever to give! #thespiritualeconomy


I WROTE—How to Design Ecstatic Cathartic Experiences.

How to Design Cathartic, Ecstatic, Communal Experiences

I CREATED—A Podcast

The Human Connection Profession is almost ready for launch. I improvised an introduction to the podcast here. Let me know if you’d like to be a guest!

I MET WITH—Epic Humans

Julia Winston, Corporate Connection Consultant, Facilitation Visionary

David Keizer, Health and Fun Facilitator in Amsterdam

Andre Stone, Emcee, Hypeman, and Host—linkedin.com/in/hypeman

Ethan Levy, CEO of DORK Dancing, Mental Health Advocate


TAKE THIS ACTION

Call a friend and say hello.


Remind fellow human connection professionals you care about their success and well-being. Be thoughtful—Forward this email to them.

Don’t forget, your body and belonging matters too, be-you-tiful.

—Jacques W. Martiquet, The International Party Scientist

PS: JOIN MY INSIDER LIST for $1/week when you’re ready for deeper insights and personal invitations 🙏

💥Party Science Experiments #16

You’re one of 721 human connection professionals who read this 🥼

Whether you’re here to grow your business, master the art of facilitating belonging, or elevate your mindset & vitality—what unites us is the belief that human connection is an elixir of life 🧪

As a token of appreciation for the care I put into writing this, can you forward this to one facilitator, community-builder, or human connection professional?

At last, let’s dance 💕🙌


WISDOM BOMB

  1. Decouple idea creation and idea evaluation.

  2. Don’t be a CAVE person: Citizen against virtually everything.

Kimberly Weifling, Global Leadership Consultant, VYVE member


ELEVATE YOUR SELF

FACILITATION

Get people doing it together.

When people do things together, the social risk collapses. This is what I learnt approaching small groups in parks and getting them to dance this weekend. When other people are doing it, our subconscious says its OK.

PS: My friends at Scaling Intimacy, the best facilitation and experience design program I am aware of, offered us 20% OFF for their weekend intensive course led by a VYVE member. If you want to level up as a facilitator and event creator, please take a peak!

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Take breaks of divergent thinking.

So often, I work too much IN my business and not ON the business. To interrupt this pattern, I grab my clipboard and brainstorm other things I could be doing in my business. This helps me refocus on what matters.

WELL-BEING

Cool down your bedroom.

I just ordered a ChiliPad Sleep device which ensures my bed stays at the same temperature all night. In summer, I sleep much worse due to the heat. Sleep hackers all agree: Cool bedroom, sleep that makes you cool 🤣


FROM MY LIFE AND BIZ

LIFE LESSONS

I learnt that it’s possible to connect with anyone you want.

I did something extreme over the weekend. On Sunday night, I challenged myself. I put on my lab coat, attached a white retractable badge to belt, and set out on my scooter. My objective: Pretend to give out physical distance tickets to people in parks. This was the ultimate test of my facilitation and courage. Could I really do something so crazy, alone?

The first two groups laughed so much. I made their day. They were so into it. When I told them that the only way to avoid the ticket was to dance to “one song, one song only” they all laughed and started dancing to my music. Of course, I had my SOUNDBOKS with me the entire time.

The third group saw me as a pest… they wanted me to go away. They didn’t play along. I felt rejected.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth groups laughed and laughed. They started filming the whole thing. One of the groups even synchronized their dance movements and offered me alcohol.

So what did I learn? Well, I proved to myself that even during a pandemic, you can approach and play with strangers. We can choose to be vibrant and friendly, despite unfavorable circumstances. This is the power of the mind and the power of self-confidence. Both can be trained.

BUSINESS LESSONS

Practice option-creation.

Let’s be real. This week, I got rejected a lot and realized my process for enrolling people into my movement and entrepreneurs organization was not as successful as I thought. It wrecked my motivation. But it led me to practice option-creation.

Option-creation is when you generate new, divergent options for accomplishing your objective. Instead of accepting the default options, you create new ones. For me, this practice looked like evaluating all the different approaches to connecting with human connection professionals: Cold-email, blogging, referral partnerships, and facebook automation.

After seeing all the options visually, you can get an outsider’s view. You can look at the process and decide which systems need tweaking. For me, I realized that I was asking for people to get involved in VYVE before they trusted or liked me. Again, before making any ask, your customer should like, trust, and know you.

In response to this realization, I created a new customer journey—I brainstormed about all the ways that I could add value to human connection pros through my blog, VYVE, and connections.

I practiced option creation again for VYVE’s session design. And I came up with a “response menu” for participants to choose from. People like choice. Now, the session for VYVE can give people whatever they need! They choose.


HUMAN I’M CHEERING FOR

Edric, CEO of Warmspace, wants to make intimacy readily accessible anytime, anywhere. His technology promises to be the Insight Timer for human connection.


WHAT I CREATED THIS WEEK

Seven Principles for Peer Empowerment. Article.

HUMAN CONNECTION PROS I MET WITH

Brian Stout, Creator and Curator of Building Belonging.

Riley Drever, Co-Founder of Authentic-Relating Go.

Edric Subur, Growth-Junkie and CEO of Warmspace.io.


I CHALLENGE YOU TO…

Hold eye contact while telling someone you love them.


Remind fellow human connection professionals you care about their success and well-being. Be thoughtful—Forward this email to them.

Don’t forget, your body and belonging matters too, be-you-tiful.

—Jacques W. Martiquet, The International Party Scientist

PS: JOIN MY INSIDER LIST for $1/week when you’re ready for deeper insights and personal invitations 🙏

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